Will Boston's signing of veteran right-hander John Smoltz facilitate a trade between the Red Sox and Rangers? - y-its-mom/Flickr.comLife Annoyance/Irritant #3,481: buying a $35 black-and-white ink cartridge for your out-of-warranty two-year-old printer and witnessing what one could only accurately characterize as a "catastrophic early-morning mechanical failure" less than a week after making your credit card scream a little bit in agony.

One profanity-laced tirade and one cup of dark-chocolate cocoa later, I've regained my usual level of composure, and life has begun anew.

TEXAS RANGERS RUMBLINGS & RUMINATIONS

● Although presumably casual conversations continue to take place between the agent of free-agent right-hander Ben Sheets (Casey Close) and the Rangers, no offers have yet been tendered, and it is believed that Sheets is waiting to see how the Derek Lowe situation plays out before making his next move; Texas is not thought to be appalled at the sight of Sheets's medical records (Richard Durrett, Dallas Morning News)

[The Mets' three-year, $36 million offer to Lowe was recently rejected, for what that's worth. Is it a complete stretch to think that this whole Sheets thing could drag on into late January?]

● The Rangers have been carefully studying the medical records of free-agent third baseman Joe Crede and might well be amenable to a one-year deal, but are not interested in Crede's free-agent counterpart, Ty Wigginton, because they want to upgrade defensively at that position; additionally, Texas "doesn't plan on getting involved" with free-agent outfielder Manny Ramirez, and were not pursuing Pat Burrell before he signed his two-year contract with the Rays (T.R. Sullivan, MLB.com)

[Comforting to know that Texas is evidently placing the proper emphasis on defense at the hot corner after atrocious glovework largely negated the fine offensive performances the Rangers received from their diverse stable of third basemen in 2008; as for Crede and Wigginton, we talked about them extensively in the first and second parts of the "Fixing Third Base" series (available here and here for your perusal, respectively), but I will simply restate that I am a fan of the idea of acquiring Crede if he's available at the right price.]

● According to general manager Jon Daniels, the Rangers had only "mild interest" in free-agent right-hander Carl Pavano, who signed an incentive-laden one-year, $1.5 million deal with the Indians on Wednesday (Jim Reeves, Fort Worth Star-Telegram)

● Texas is keeping tabs on Giants left-handers Noah Lowry and Jonathan Sanchez (Jerry Crasnick, ESPN.com)

[This just in: Noah Lowry isn't very good.]

● Free-agent southpaw Andy Pettitte isn't coming to Texas unless he dramatically reduces his contractual demands and consents to play for a less competitive club than the Yankees, his primary suitor (Reeves)

[It still ain't happenin'.]

● The Rangers will watch free-agent right-hander Chad Cordero audition for multiple major league teams in California later this week, and are among the clubs talking seriously with free-agent left-hander Will Ohman (Sullivan)

● Free-agent right-hander Jason Jennings is drawing interest from the Rangers and Diamondbacks (Troy E. Renck, Denver Post)

[Unless Arizona serves up a major league deal on a silver platter, I can't foresee Jennings landing anywhere but back in the Metroplex.]

THE KEN ROBOTHAL ROSENTHAL EXTRAVAGANZA

● Boston is on the verge of signing free-agent right-hander John Smoltz and free-agent outfielder Rocco Baldelli (Buster Olney, ESPN.com; Ken Rosenthal, FOXSports.com)

[Well, there goes the Rangers' leverage with regard to a potential multi-player deal shipping Marlon Byrd to Beantown, I suppose. Will the Red Sox dare to employ the 41-year-old hurler -- who is, by the way, coming off June 2008 arthroscopic surgery to repair "significant damage" in his right shoulder -- as a starter going forward? That component of this deal remains undetermined, although Olney does submit that Boston "will go into spring training with six veteran starters -- Josh Beckett, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Jon Lester, Tim Wakefield, Brad Penny and Smoltz."

And, of course, the money line from Olney: "The signings of Smoltz and Penny also give the Red Sox the flexibility to consider trading one of their young starting pitchers -- most notably Clay Buchholz, whose name has come up in trade talks with the Texas Rangers, for catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia, as well as with other teams." We'll see about that.]

● The Brewers have emerged as the de facto front-runners in the race to snap up future Hall of Famer Trevor Hoffman as Soloman Torres's replacement at closer (Rosenthal)

[I'll be observing the ultimate outcome of these negotiations with keen interest, because I've implied it once in this space already this winter, and I'll spit it out more explicitly now -- Hoffman's got something left, and on a cheap, short-term commitment, he would have made sense for Texas. We know the latter condition is assured in any deal for the 41-year-old veteran, but it remains to be seen just how much cash he'll manage to milk out of Milwaukee.

In an odd twist of fate, it was Brewer Tony Gwynn, Jr.'s two-out, ninth-inning, and game-tying RBI triple off Hoffman in Game 162 of the Padres' 2007 season that prompted extra innings (which the Padres ultimately lost in, courtesy of a walk-off RBI single in the bottom of the 11th inning), consequently forcing the now-legendary one-game playoff between the Padres and Rockies that was, in my estimation, one of the more enthralling baseball games in recent memory (Hoffman memorably blew the save in that game in extra frames as well). If you can't beat 'em, join 'em I suppose.]

● The Athletics finalized a one-year, $5.25 million deal with free-agent slugger Jason Giambi on Wednesday; $1.25 million of his 2009 salary comes in the form of a guaranteed buyout, and there's a second-year club option attached worth $6.5 million; Giambi also has a limited no-trade provision and can earn $500,000 each year in performance bonuses (Associated Press)

[The AL West gets a little more interesting. Oakland badly needed to supplement their offense with another big bat and did so at an affordable price here, and even if he doesn't play a single game at first base in 2009 (which is probably a good idea, truth be told), Giambi is a reasonably solid bet to give the Athletics more value than they paid for.]

● With the acquisition of Mark Teixeira, the Yankees will almost certainly trade one of either Xavier Nady or Nick Swisher, both of whom are drawing "significant interest;" New York is in no rush to deal either, and general manager Brian Cashman's only motivation is to extract maximum value in any deal (Rosenthal)

[Anybody interested?]

● Japanese right-hander Koji Uehara, a known player of interest to the Rangers earlier in the off-season (see here), has signed a two-year, $10 million contract with the Orioles (Dan Connolly, Baltimore Sun)

● Cincinnati has re-signed former Rangers infielder Jerry Hairston, Jr. to a one-year, $2 million deal, envisioning him as a super-utility player (Rosenthal)

[One season after departing Texas, Hairston went out and posted a career-best .326/.384/.487 batting line while contributing in excess of two wins above and beyond what a replacement-level player would have contributed to the '08 Reds. Delayed Jaramillo Effect in action, perhaps?]

● Free-agent right-hander Kris Benson threw 210 feet on flat ground this week "like it was 60 feet," according to his agent, Gregg Clifton, as part of his continued rehabilitation from 2007 rotator cuff surgery, and could conceivably intrigue teams looking for a "low-priced starter" (Rosenthal)

[The only reason I mention this is because Benson strikes me as the sort of pitcher the Rangers could bring in on a minor league deal as veteran spring training insurance; of course, one of the other things working against his successful return to the majors is the fact that he was never really that good a pitcher even when he was healthy.]

MISCELLANY (YES, IT'S ACTUALLY A WORD)

● Right-hander John Patterson, best known for a superb 2005 campaign with the Nationals (130 ERA+!) and a brief 2008 stint in the Rangers organization, has been forced into retirement at the ripe old age of 30 years, 11 months and eight days due to "persistent pain in his right forearm." The Orange, Texas native signed a minor league deal with Texas last March at the apparent recommendation of former pitching coach and current organizational pitching consultant Mark Connor (who shortly thereafter stated that his former Diamondbacks pupil was "really making progress"), but was shut down in early May due to recurring forearm soreness and was released later in the month.

● John Wasdin is a Seibu Lion. Ryan Glynn is a Yokohama BayStar.

● The Transaction Oracle really, really hates Derrick Turnbow, stating, among other things, that "absent a miracle, I think I'd rather have hepatitis than Turnbow." Of course, Dan Szymborski's ZiPS projections also forecast a 19 percent chance of Turnbow posting a league-average ERA or better (that is, an ERA+ of 100 or better), so take that as you will.

● MLB.com will be re-airing the Rangers' 9-5 triumph over the Yankees on August 4th, 2008 (which is best remembered for Marlon Byrd's walk-off grand slam in the bottom of the ninth inning) at 2:00 p.m. CST this afternoon. Click here for more details.

● The Rangers have finalized their 2009 Winter Caravan schedule, which features stops in Grapevine (Jan. 9), Mesquite (Jan. 10), Bossier City, Louisiana and Dallas (Jan. 13), Wichita Falls (Jan. 14), North Richland Hills (Jan. 15), Edmond, Oklahoma (Jan. 16), Plano (Jan. 17), Tyler (Jan. 20), Arlington (Jan. 22) and Waco (Jan. 26), with an autograph session for Austin scheduled for a date and time yet to be announced. As fate would have it, I'll be in assorted lectures for the near-entirety of the day during the Caravan's sojourn in Tyler, although I may have to make a special exception for the great Tom Grieve.

● While I must commend Tim Cowlishaw of the Dallas Morning news for including Bert Blyleven and Tim Raines on his 2009 Hall of Fame ballot at a time when the former is walking the razor-thin boundary between hardball immortality and exclusion, and the latter is in grave danger of being shunned by the electorate for a second consecutive year, Jason Parks took the liberty of informing everybody that, contrary to Cowlishaw's claim, Raines never led the National League in walks (oddly, the error remains uncorrected); in a related Cooperstown development, one of the BBWAA's many sportswriting luminaries -- a kindly looking older gentleman by the name of Corky Simpson -- has omitted Rickey Henderson from his ballot, thus ensuring that the "greatest [player] of all-time" will not be an unanimous selection.

But he did vote for Tim Raines. And Matt Williams. Bizarre.

Thirty-seven days until pitchers and catchers report.