You people are so serious. It's the flippin offseason and you're all stressing as much as you did during the season. That's how hypertension happens. I'm asking the REAL questions.

Will the centerfield home run catching/dancing fat kid be back? Here are my thoughts:

If he comes back, his welcome will be worn out. In my opinion it was fine when he was just catching the balls, and honestly it was pretty impressive, I swear a couple times he got a better jump on the ball than the centerfielder. But when the dancing came....meh. So here are your options, Centerfield Fat Kid:

1) Stop. It was great, but it's run it's course.

2) Continue for another year, have more people get on the "he's annoying" bandwagon, and suffer the same fate Harvey Dent did when he saw himself live long enough to become the villain.

3) Keep doing it. Forever. Fuggit. It will get annoying...then really annoying...then sad...but then better...and eventually you might even develop into the Chris Farley of RBiA, having 50,000 people laughing WITH you instead of AT you. You'll be the talk of the town. Then you'll probably OD, because, you know, Chris Farley.

So there you have it, young man. Choose wisely. And keep watching the skies.

You see, we need more hard hitting questions like this. Well done, Coylio.

My theory on the fat kid is that, since he thinks he's an actual part of the game at this point, he will become camera-conscious and lose a gang of weight. No more fat kid. BEHOLD, skinny-fat kid.

That, and he's going to tone down the antics. He will still get excellent breaks on the ball, but instead of making an ass of himself, he will instead pretend like it's no big deal. Sure, he's going to care as much as he always has, but he's going to work on his public perception, a lot like LeBron when he started reading books before games. OMG SO LIKABLE NOW.

However, after being skinny, and after toning down the media-whore approach he's taken, he will again fiend for the spotlight, succumbing to a terrible depression and falling helplessly to the pits of a terrible drug addiction. And as he sits there, lugubrious, hunched over in the corner of his parents dank basement with the lights off, he'll finally dump the remainder of his cocaine onto the the wooden floor, look up to God in hopes that Josh Hamilton will suddenly appear, and whisper "Fuck it" to himself. He buries his head to the pile of powder, take a few deep sniffs through his nose, and the scene ends.

Goodbye, skinny-fat kid.

I think it's about time he passed the baton to a little brother or something. He'll still get his recognition along with Shirley Coast at the Ranger hall of fame game and whatnot.

Also, when is the kid no longer a kid? Hasn't he been doing this for like 4 seasons now?

Greatness!

I saw the heading and thought this was a Mike Napoli thread. Who knew?

Until he does Gangnam Style after catching a home run, his quest is not complete.

With the removal of the Cuevo Club, the jet stream will be minimized, and as a result, the right-handed hitters who used to go "oppo" will now try to pull the ball more, resulting in fewer overall homeruns, and thus spiraling the fat kid into a six-month depression.

My guess: a 2nd kid emerges. Younger, thinner, faster. He'll soak up all the fame.. leading to the last paragraph of eric reining's prediction for the original kid. Only there's a twist! He survives the OD, sells his story to Hollywood, and lives happily ever after in his modest house made from baseballs.