Now that we all have heard the bittersweet news about Rhads, I thought it would be fun to do a "roast" for him. After all, he seems like a decent guy that none of us dislike on a personal level... He is just a piss poor PBP broadcaster. So out of respectful mockery for the man who has given us so much about which to laugh, cringe, and criticize, let's begin.

We are here today to honor a man who gave us a month and a half of his career to make us realize just how fortunate... we are soon to be.. A man who thinks that a double play is when you get to watch Hamlet and Macbeth back-to-back. His groans of forced-excitement made Kenny Albert sound like Vin Scully, and his limited knowledge of the game turned Tom Grieve into narrator of The Official Rule Book of Major League Baseball. He is a man who has taken us through the wickets of laughter and saddled us up for a ride of baseball ya'll. Mr. John Rhadigan.

In light of his demotion, it seems as though he has been served strike three - uh - strike two, and we are left with only the memories of muting our televisions. I should actually thank Rhadigan for giving me the opportunity to hear Eric Nadel's voice so regularly for the past month. It brought me back to the days when TV's had rabbit ears, Smashmouth sang about the all-star game, and the thought of the Rangers in the World Series seemed like a mere fantasy. Furthermore, his adorable ignorance of basic rules brought me back to when my little league Tee-Ball coach explained to me that a runner at third base cannot score on a play where the third out is recorded by a force at first base. He is the unwitting inspiration of nostalgia.

When we heard that Rhads would be the new PBP guy, we felt like the Minnesota Twins fans when 12-year old Billy Haywood announced that he would be their head coach in "Little Big League". The only difference is that Haywood actually worked out for the Twins. Oh, and that "Little Big League" was fiction - something I wish I could say about Rhadigan.

From the beginning we have been able to see that Rhadigan is a classic example of one of life's simple unwritten rules: "It's not what you know, but who you know." And Rhadigan must have known Obama to get this gig. The good news is that we will no longer have to sit back and wait for the announcer to catch up with our celebration after a home run. The bad news is that it has undoubtedly forced Joey to come up with yet another trivial statistic: a comparison of how long it takes Rhadigan to catch up with what is going on to how long it takes the TV broadcast to catch up with the radio broadcast.

No disrespect to you, Mr. Rhadigan. You will be slightly missed as a broadcaster, but largely missed as a topic of discussion. I wish you the best, and PLEASE stay in the studio.

Sliced!

It is on May 26th, 2011, that we can say the PxP career of John Rhadigan is "High...... and deep...............and gone.........." er, was it "Sliced"?? Nothing will ever let us forget the mumbling calls on the Nelson Cruz boomstick, or the Moreland Seattle send-off

http://texas.rangers.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=14478735

The beautiful drinking games that were created as a result of his gargling, over-enthusiastic and under-knowledged calls on certain things makes want to go get a liver massage.

John, you're a great guy, but we could no longer stomach the failure. However, if you could just get Rick Renner fired, you will have the goodwill of millions of DFW sports fans for the remainder of your human life.

Thanks for the good and bad times John, which just happen to be the same times.

trey, i couldntve said it better myself. Get Rick Renner fired, take his job = Rhads redemption.

"Through the Wickets" ... "Double off the Top of the Wall"!

The firing of Rhads is a HomeRun!.... i mean off the wall double

Ditto on the Rick Renner bashing. Now that Rhads is gone I am more than happy to shift the mantle of contempt toward that wretch of highlighted hair gel. I actually met the guy when I was at the high school football preseason media day. He interviewed me and a couple of other guys on my team, but it was clear that he didn't want to be talking to us. He didn't know who the hell we were, and he didn't care. He wanted to go talk to this blue chip from another school, but his boss obviously had him doing the crap that would never make it on air. He just had this childish attitude of superiority like he was the most important person in the building. It really would be a win-win if Rhad's demotion actually takes away air time from Renner.

Rick Renner is the definition of DDB (Dallas Douche Bag). He needs to learn to grow up and act his age. Dude youre not in your 20s anymore. and you sure as hell dont attend SMU. douche....

I have hated Rick Renner for a decade. I will gladly spearhead the shift hate from Rhadigan to Renner ship. I would love to see Emily Jones' pregnant ass just backhand Renner in a peanut butter and queso craved rage sometime soon.

"JR" tried, but it just wasn't his thing. Very amateurish and comments frequently inaccurate. I thought he would improve with time, but he didn't. What dumbo chose him as PBP to begin with?

I met Renner about 10 years ago. He was working out in my gym in College Station - I guess he was in town doing a story on the Aggies. Anyways, I talked to him briefly and he is as big of a douche as he looks. And in person, he looks even weirder than on tv. He is one tall, goofy, pickle nosed, frosted lettuce, douchebag.

Yesterday I had a period of peace where I didn't have anything to bitch about...thanks for filling the void so quickly!

What's even worse is the evolution of HD tv.... it just multiplies the DBness of renner. and his hair looks friggin green.

@ trey... i seriously spit out my freakin breakfast that emily jones $hit was so funny. i would pay to see that in a heart beat

Seriously guyz, this angst is old. Now you're moving on to Renner?
Maybe Emily, being pregnant, is not good TV either? Rhadz is gone.
It was bitter-sweet, but it's over and done. I'm not going to kick on
the subject again. Oh, by the way, Ronald McDonald is moving on...

dont get me started on ronald mcdonald! now grimace.... thats where its at!